In the Fall of the fourth year

It seems to incredible to believe that we are in the fourth year of this little man's life. Everyday he surprises us with new games and rituals which I know are like the t-shirts he wears - only here until he outgrows them and is ready for the next challenge. Currently he is enamored of ice cream wars a sport first discovered on our car trip to Rochester. It was a long car ride and towards the end all Joe wanted to do was get there. Suddenly I had the idea to throew ice cream at him . It was great fun. We began hurling different flavors of ice cream back and forth at one another over the car seat. It is now a staple of our existence. As is our contrary coercion. I have discovered wheneever I want J to do something we play a game in which I urge him not to d os. It began first when he was using the word "stupid" rather freeely. I counseled him not to call me a genius, which he promptly did and that led to more names and more compliments. It is extrordinary how fast his mind works Today , while KAren was working on a client,
J and I played Please don't" all the way to the diner. My favorite time so far has been playing please don't laugh in which he begins laughing hysterically.

I am heartsick I can count the number of evenings we will all be able to sit as a family and enjoy this laughter. It seems crazy now to pursue anything that will take me away from them and yet I do. I am questioning the sanity of any choice but staying home with my wife and child. Of course, i have always imagined the three of us will all neatly blend together on projects but I must soberly assess that reality with each passing day.