2nd Grade

Project is moving forward faster than expected. He is now in second grade , able to read , tie his shoes, and eat gallons of oatmeal on a daily basis.
He is a lego man - not made of lego s but loving them and a Pokemon fan. His favorite book is Harry Potter - he has read 1,2,3, and 4 now multiple times.
Wow.

Contrary Coercion

There are few things that have brought as much joy to our mutual faces as contrary coercion.
Joe comes to me on a regular basis since this game was begun and asks me, for example,

"Daddy, should I brush my teeth?" No Iscream, do not brush your teeth!
This is his cue to proceed immediately with doing the task. And laughing while he does it. I continue to declare it tis against my wishes and mutter about how I canot get over his determination to do things his way.

It is most fun when we walk down the street. I ask him not to follow me.
He does.
I implore him to stay behind.
He rushes forward.
I attempt to outrun him and he runs just at my heels.
This has now claimed a spot with
Racing as a memory of his chid hood. Racing was the practice of tearing down the street at full speed and I would run up behind hims and declare that I was going to grab him by the ear.

Contrary coercion rests with Baskin and Robbins - the came where you throw imaginary scoops of ice cream at an opponent , as a wonderful past time of toddler hoood. We vist Baskin and Robbin on a daily basis now and I have even integrated it into a Workout that the Drilling Company sponsored not long ago.

Finally ,
"You're a Wonderful Handsome Genius" is a fun way we seem to be getting around the problem of using the word "stupid". I noticd he was beginning to use the sord "stupid" to descibe his father during temper tantrums. I asked him to not call me a genius, knowing if I asked him to not call me stupid - it would never end. The wonderful thing about "You're a wonderful Handsome charming genius " (all words I beg him not to apply to me1) is he cracks up every time we start playing. He seems to know I am putting him on but he likes the game of the opposition and the extremeto which I carry demand his compliance - in other words, it's fun to be exaggerated.

Also on the wow front, yesterday J began talking in the voice of Albert the Alligator. Albert being a character I have created for one of his plastic animals, an alligator, who always wnats to eat his toes.

I hope one day he reads this and smile.

In the Fall of the fourth year

It seems to incredible to believe that we are in the fourth year of this little man's life. Everyday he surprises us with new games and rituals which I know are like the t-shirts he wears - only here until he outgrows them and is ready for the next challenge. Currently he is enamored of ice cream wars a sport first discovered on our car trip to Rochester. It was a long car ride and towards the end all Joe wanted to do was get there. Suddenly I had the idea to throew ice cream at him . It was great fun. We began hurling different flavors of ice cream back and forth at one another over the car seat. It is now a staple of our existence. As is our contrary coercion. I have discovered wheneever I want J to do something we play a game in which I urge him not to d os. It began first when he was using the word "stupid" rather freeely. I counseled him not to call me a genius, which he promptly did and that led to more names and more compliments. It is extrordinary how fast his mind works Today , while KAren was working on a client,
J and I played Please don't" all the way to the diner. My favorite time so far has been playing please don't laugh in which he begins laughing hysterically.

I am heartsick I can count the number of evenings we will all be able to sit as a family and enjoy this laughter. It seems crazy now to pursue anything that will take me away from them and yet I do. I am questioning the sanity of any choice but staying home with my wife and child. Of course, i have always imagined the three of us will all neatly blend together on projects but I must soberly assess that reality with each passing day.

Mornings with J

On a typical morning my son and I wake and begin twos. That is how he affectionately refers to typing randomly on the computer. I'm not aware of whether this will teach him anything about computers. He seems curious about it. Seems best to water the curiosity. After the 2', and the 2's may include many other numerals and letters. Most startling, the twos may include hitting buttons on the computer I don't use and have no idea what their cause and effect will be. In these moments, my son and I become co-learners - we are discovering something new together for the first time. For both of us. This seems uniting - it evens the playing field for someone
who can only wonder at the magic of urination.

Now J moves on. He's ready for the "dissses" which of course is a reference to washing the dishes. The other daily morning activity - running water is essential.

Walking in September

Mr. JE began walking in late August,
and took his footsteps while
Serean was watching him on Wednesday August 17th, and a week later ,
he walked for Mom and Dad.

He is thrilled everytime he walks.
He enjoys all music.
He is growing.

Feb. 21st - Conventional Means

Quote of the day:

Karen to Joe on seeing
the results, the morning
after of
J's first solid food:

"Honey, J can't be cleaned by any conventionsal means .
You're going to have to put him in the tub."

February 20th

today was big day for J, Karen had a performance at 3 in Harelm and there was an event that was celebrating the accomplishment of
The DrillingCompany's HONOR - being published by in
Plays and Playwrights 2005.
His grandmother came up on Saturday nght the 19th to give his parents a night off but that proved to difficult,

As soon as they left for the theatre J began screaming and would not stop until a half an hour later when he fell asleep. Neither Karen nor I could have let him cry for as long as his grandmother did. We both felt terrible he was away from us both for so long. Both os us feel torn by the the pull to meet responsibilities in our lives and the responsibility of taking care of his. This is only in the last two weeks. Judy was a wonderful presence and as always very generous, but  no matter what  it  seems he never  stops   crying  away  from  his mom.

At the heart of Harlem J started out listening to his Mo for about four minute of her performance. Then he began to talk back in loud to semi loud statements of some kind. He seem to be answering the energy he was reieiving from the stage. From years of Catholic Church with my mother I knew instintively to sit on the end of the pew with J. We were joined by Jim barden and Sylvester and old college friend of Judy's. The performance of Langston Hughes poetry had come a long way.

J and I watched most of the program from the rear of St. Andrew's Church, much of it through the glass behind the last pew. He seemed fascinated with the galss.
Also noticed today he was facinated by solfege and arpegggio's. His grandmother played the Star Spagled Banner for him tday on the piano. His first song.

Back at the theatre, while we were standing in the back of the theatre , Miss Cicely Tyson, mother of the director, Marlayna. J had a moment hen he was about to introduce himself to her but could see she was not in a mood to be approached.

Downstairs at the church I first heard J really listening to his own voice and the sounds he was making. He seemed geuinely thrilled by the sound of his own voice just as he enjoys the sight of himself in the mirror. He was extremely playful at the Church up until I put his jacket on - TIME FOR A MELT DOWN.

At the DrillingCompany book signing he was a Prince - he slep entirely throught the first play presented. Awoke for "Kalighat". Stepped out for two more and then I eas able to take.
Judy and Karen arrived. J was exhusted tonight